Know When to Teach

My daughter recently received a toy, one which her brother also found very interesting. Her first reaction was excitement and she couldn’t help but have the desire to play with it immediately; all this while her younger, baby brother became restless also wanting to play with the toy. This was a good opportunity to teach sharing. Now, as you may already know this is a task that takes patience and skill. More importantly, the lesson to be conveyed has a deeper lesson, one for the teacher.

In trying to teach Leah about sharing with her brother I had to first get her attention off the toy. She was so wrapped up in her new discovery she was struggling to hear a word I was saying. At this point I could take several methods and put them to practice. Methods like explaining that her brother would lose interest very quickly and then she could get the toy back and feel good about sharing. Okay, that’s not working. I could bribe her with some kind of a treat. Nope. Maybe if I were to just take the toy away out of punishment. That would teach a lesson but would be far from effective, in fact that would damage the concept of why sharing is good. I’m sure there are many possibilities here but would any of them be right?

To answer the question on what would be the right attempt we would need to reflect back on Leah’s focus, it was on the toy and not me. I couldn’t get her attention; if I did it was brief and wouldn’t last. A powerful lesson can be taken from this example: knowing WHEN to teach. Leah had just received a toy that was hers and to force her to learn a lesson was simply not fair.

When someone isn’t fully involved in your lesson you must withdraw and revisit when they’re prepared. A successful tactic would have possibly been to take the attention off of the toy and onto something else. The timing wasn’t right to teach her the lesson of sharing and it was in everyone’s interest to move on.

Know when to teach and when to support. If you feel offended or angry you will inevitably fail in promoting your belief. I could have easily gotten angry at Leah’s desire to not share but it wouldn’t have done any good to anyone involved. Discern the situation and insure you are lending counsel at a time when counsel will be accepted as helpful and not harmful. Showing respect and affection will promote your cause; know when to teach and when to support.