A Sincere Quality

Sometimes you meet someone you like. For some reason they have qualities that are hard to explain but you’re intrigued. They seem to understand you and really accept your point of view. They seem sincere, nice, and you feel better when you’re around them. Can you think of someone with whom you’ve met and within a short time you felt like this person is someone you can really get to know, you wouldn’t mind spending more time with them? Think of how they made you feel.

This example will hopefully bring to mind some experiences you may have had. I’m sure we could think of thousands of reasons why you may have felt the way you did but I can attest that all those reasons are magnified by a simple, yet essential skill. That skill is listening. Listening strengthens relationships, builds trust, and is a sincere compliment.

Think again of the example you used in someone that you really enjoyed, someone you wanted to spend more time with. Can you with any ounce of honesty say that they’re a bad listener? I doubt it. This is true because those that have the skill of listening attract others. People confide in a good listener and want to be associated with them.

Not listening is dangerous, you aren’t prepared, and you won’t know how to react. If you find it hard to listen to others you will be labeled a bore and someone that’s self absorbed and interested only in your own merits and desires. You’ll have to try harder to make friends and influence others.

A way to become a better listener is by using the examples of those that make you feel good. Take their example and emulate it. Make it your primary goal to understand others. Your listening skills will build stronger relationships, more so than any other talent or procedure. Commit to listening and you’ll open new communication lines with everyone you know.

Become a Leader

If you want to be a leader, if you want people to follow you, you need to build in your potential followers a deep respect that comes only when truly deserved. This applies across a wide spectrum of relationships from parent to child, boss to employee and so on. You must set out with a mission in mind. This mission will take time, it won’t be easy and it may not work for you. Sounds great right? Well, the truth is it may not work because we are all imperfect and so are those we are trying to lead, there will never be anything that can accomplish a perfect plan unless there is pure love involved. The truth to this is that we don’t yet live in a society that can support that. Not to say it can’t be found in personal relationships but for this example we will leave it out. The good news is there are many ways to achieve the status of an effective leader. I will outline one way or system that I believe will attribute to a high level of success in leadership on every level known to man.

Given the notion that respect will play a large role in becoming a leader you will have to recognize why someone would want to show you respect or why someone would consider following you. Someone will want to follow you if they believe it would be in their interest to do so. Next, you will have to build that relationship by proving that you have their interests in mind, that they will believe that every one of their successes will be a personal success for you. Helping them understand this can be achieved when proven, it’s typically hard to achieve only when said. Practice in deed will make them believe. Now, once they believe you really want them to succeed they will trust you.

Trust is essential for this to plan to work. You have gained trust by invoking in your follower a belief that their successes are as important to you as your own personal successes. The most difficult part is gained over time and that is building the trust into a deep respect. A real respect, a respect that is profound enough that when mistakes are made they feel as if they let you down. Think about this for a moment. Have you ever had someone you can look back at as a powerful leader that helped found who you are today? If you were in their presence and let them down you would feel awful, you may even feel as if you would first let yourself down before them. This person had a dramatic impact on you.

The most devout followers of all religions I can think of trust and admonish some form of deity. They seek approval, they seek forgiveness when needed, and they feel ashamed for breaking oaths or covenants. This is because they know that their Supreme Being they follow has their interests in mind. Take into account how others see you, obviously not as a Supreme Being but if you are seeking to be their leader you will know how devoted they are to you if they respect you enough to not want to let you down. Gain respect by proving to them you want their success, grow in this respect until they trust your intentions, and then you will have a true follower, one that will never want to let you down.

Do More

Do more than you have to... to become more than you are.

If I had a "Business"

If I had a business and things were not looking good, the horizon was nowhere to be seen and the workforce lost hope, I would have to make some changes as to not lose everything and fail. If this was a company to believe in, a company with morals and purpose, a company that had helped frame lives and build faith, I would certainly want to preserve the underlying strength and mission that created its success.

I would need to root out pessimism and create a reason to push forward, a mentality of courage. I would need to create a vision to locate the core principles that helped create the level of integrity and success the business once had. I would need to bring in courageous leaders who believed in our mission and risked their lives in carrying out what they knew was more important than themselves. I would need to have a practice of discipline and moderation, strength, and encouragement.

As it goes without saying, I wouldn’t deal with venders or contractors that didn’t offer suitable services that met our needs. I wouldn’t invest capital into non performing assets. I wouldn’t create more debt to fund non essential divisions. I would seek out investors who willingly believed in our mission and purpose and stood by us by their own volition. I would not force anyone to believe in my agenda; rather I would invest in those that believed in the agenda set forth by the founders of the company and hold true to the principles that once made us successful and prosperous.

For it is courage to make the difficult choices. It is honor to stay true to your beliefs.

Purpose and Direction

Getting lost in the wilderness whether it’s the mountains, the seas, the forests or the swamps can be very trying, physically and emotionally. It has been said that the body can endure a lot of mistreatment but the mind is truly fragile. Getting lost can be prevented by simple preparation. Let’s discuss the simple yet effective device that has assisted lost adventurers for centuries; that device is the compass.

A compass is a magnetic device, typically a pointer that indicates, using the planet’s magnetosphere, north. The compass is typically a surefire way to locate north. The only problem with the Compass is that it’s completely useless unless you know where you’re trying to go. Knowing where north is won’t do any good unless you know what direction you should be headed.

Using the example of a hiker who was lost in the Uintah Mountains in 2008 we can find some valuable information. The adventurous hiker, with years of hiking behind him had gotten lost in unfamiliar territory. Given his experience in hiking he was well prepared for the journey to the summit but he lacked any type of direction on his descent given his unfamiliarity with the area. His compass worked fine but his knowledge of the land or where the meeting point was didn’t exist. After becoming separated from his group he ended up miles from the meeting point. Night came and he had to prepare a makeshift bed and blind to be protected from the cold winds that were to come. The man luckily survived two nights in the mountains and was rescued because of a talented, experienced search and rescue team. Unlike this hiker, there have been many who have lost their lives seeking for direction home only to feel as if they are walking in circles.

Having a compass is important to a hiker in that assists them in knowing the direction to find their way; but it becomes useful if and only if the direction to where they should be headed is known. There are many of us that are like the hiker; we may have the tools to find our way but we don’t know where we should be headed.

Success can be found in knowing where you want to be and then using the tools you have to get there. All the tools in the world are of no use unless you know how to use them or why you should use them. Look at your mind as your compass; it’s a powerful instrument that if used correctly can achieve monumental results. Locking into your true potential is accomplished when you understand your purpose and direction. You must know where you want to go to get there. In addition to knowing your direction and purpose, like the rescue team finding the lost hiker, those that are prepared and know their direction will have great joy and purpose when assisting in the rescuing of others that may have become lost.

Hoodoos

Bryce Canyon: endless views and monuments erected by the mighty forces that are. I recall standing near the edge of a cliff at the park with what seemed to be a several hundred foot decent. There was no room for error and my movement was well thought out. I placed extra care on each movement I made knowing that one mistake and I would certainly slip and plummet to the depths below. The muscles in my legs, core and upper body were working in harmony in directing my balance and footing on the gravel topped limestone upon which I was standing.

The purpose for the parks designation as a national park has everything to do with the spires throughout the canyon called “Hoodoos”. According to the National Park Service:

“Hoodoos are formed by two weathering processes that continuously work together in eroding the edges of the Paunsaugunt Plateau. The primary weathering force at Bryce Canyon is frost wedging. Here we experience over 200 freeze/thaw cycles each year. In the winter, melting snow, in the form of water, seeps into the cracks and freezes at night. When water freezes it expands by almost 10%, bit by bit prying open cracks, making them ever wider in the same way a pothole forms in a paved road.”

“In addition to frost wedging, what little rain we get here also sculpts the hoodoos. Even the crystal clear air of Bryce Canyon creates slightly acidic rainwater. This weak carbonic acid can slowly dissolve limestone grain by grain. It is this process that rounds the edges of hoodoos and gives them their lumpy and bulging profiles.”

As with Hoodoos, we too experience processes that continuously work together attempting to erode us. The effects of the elements have created beautiful spires and with our experiences we too will feel the effects and changes as they transpire. As with my experience in keeping my balance and footing atop the loose rock, my body was able to react as a whole to keep myself from slipping. We have the ability to utilize our faculties in making decisions when the elements seek to destroy us. Out of those hardest moments come the most remarkable refinements.

Self Reliance

In reading a magazine article recently I came across a story that outlined an article from the Reader’s Digest many, many years ago. It reads:

“In our friendly neighbor city of St. Augustine great flocks of sea gulls are starving amid plenty. Fishing is still good, but the gulls don’t know how to fish. For generations they have depended on the shrimp fleet to toss them scraps from the nets. Now the fleet has moved… “

“The shrimpers had created a ‘Welfare State’ for the… sea gulls. The big birds never bothered to learn how to fish for themselves and they never taught their children to fish. Instead they led their little ones to the shrimp nets.”

“Now the sea gulls, the fine free birds that almost symbolize liberty itself, are starving to death because they gave in to the ‘something for nothing lure’! They sacrificed their independence for a handout.”

“A lot of people are like that, too. They see nothing wrong in picking delectable scraps from the tax nets of the U.S. Government’s shrimp fleet. But what will happen when the Government runs out of goods? What about our children of generations to come?”

“Let’s not be gullible gulls. We… must preserve our talents of self sufficiency, our genius for creating things for ourselves, our sense of thrift and our true love of independence. “

Self reliance isn’t everything, if you believe that you will almost always miss the mark. However, it is an essential ingredient in finding more joy.